• me: dad can I-
  • dad: ask your mother.
  • me: mom can I-
  • mom: ask your father.
pukingdads:

I haven’t laughed so hard in a rlly long time

pukingdads:

I haven’t laughed so hard in a rlly long time

(via orgasmic-humor)

tumbrlplug:

*drops food and says Ctrl+Z*

(via theblackship)

nungers:

"you’re gonna be home alone for a bit"

image

(via stunningbubbles)

beefjorky:

OMG I FORGOT TO FEED MY NEOPET

(via tyleroakley)

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

didihearthereadyset:

I have a really hot waiter.

Guys he came back with my food and said, “Careful the plate is hot too.” So I asked, “too?” and hE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER THEN MADE A SIZZLING NOISE.
IM FREAKING OUT WHAT DO I DO.

image

wanna know what these all say?

"suck his dick"

(via stunningbubbles)

greelin:

cyberuser:

i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now

i think you’re still technically gay

(via fuckthatyourebeautiful)

tobitakas:

despairkomaeda:

I NEED THE WRESTLING GIF WHERE THE REF SLIDES ALONG THE FLOOR THATS MY FAV

image

also as an added bonus

image

(via burstingcolours)

brook:

samurott:

why do chihuahuas looks like they are scared the whole time

who wouldn’t be afraid in this economy

(via tomhankies)

notafuckingwizard:

Favourite Australian saying: “have a good one”. Have a good what? We’ll never tell. You’ll never know Australian secrets.

(via afrozenwhore)