sorry:

Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one.

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

santapalooza:

when someone meets me in person

jaclcfrost:

the spell can only be broken by true love’s high-five

(via shootingatspiders)

egg-rolls:

one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him

(via cpcoulter)

thewordsofclayton:

sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

Good

(via laugh-addict)

bewbin:

"the weather seems ruff today doesnt it Spot haha?"
"dont patronize me Greg"

(via theocatsman)

cumsockmonkey:

My mom’s Facebook posts about me are flawless

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

penisburps:

lindsaylohoean:

does ke$ha go by k€sha in europe 

i dunno ask will.je.suis

(via greensterous)

ingredior:

baelor:

i dont know if i want to be buried or cremated if i die

“if i die”

(via laugh-addict)

unclefather:

"Stocks are going down, Mark. I’m not ready for this company to go under"

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

Q

Anonymous asked:

A little baby elephant stumbles into your askbox, holding a small letter in his mouth. He hands the note to you, “I love you. You are a wonderful, loved person." Pass it on to the first ten people on your dash anonymously.